A man took to Reddit for advice regarding his pregnant wife and his mother’s birthday. He explained that it was his mother’s birthday at the same time that his seven-month-pregnant wife was feeling uncomfortable and particularly sensitive.
The man offered to take his mother to dinner for her birthday, and she picked a place that was a 40-minute drive away. The man told his mother he didn’t want to travel that far as his wife was uncomfortable traveling long distances in a car.
He also explained to his mother that his wife could eat little on the menu because it was a seafood restaurant, and his wife couldn’t eat shellfish. He then asked his mother if she would choose a nearby restaurant.
The man’s mother refused, saying the only good seafood restaurants were farther away. The man then suggested that his mother choose a different cuisine, noting that they had Mexican and Hibachi near them, which he knew his mother loved.
The man’s mother became angry and told him his wife could stay home while they went to dinner. She found it startling that a grown woman couldn’t stay home alone for a few hours while her husband went to dinner.
After telling his mother that his wife wouldn’t be pregnant forever and asking her to work with them, his mother told him to forget about it and yelled that her birthday was not about his wife. The man responded, “My wife comes first.”
The man also accused his mother of being selfish and childish, so she hung up the phone. This led to the man’s family telling him he was wrong and his wife crying because the whole family was upset with her for ruining her mother-in-law’s birthday
The man asked netizens whether or not he was justified in standing up for his wife and asking his mom to change her birthday plans. He received many mixed responses from fellow Reddit users.
One user told the man he was justified in his reaction, and they were glad he was standing up for his wife. They then asked if his mother often acted this way toward his wife, to which he responded in the affirmative. The man also said that his mother’s fiancée had taken her to the restaurant, which he found was enabling her bad behavior.
Another netizen told the man he was wrong for making it seem like the situation was his wife’s fault and said they would not have stopped their husband from going somewhere they didn’t want to go when they were pregnant. The person also noted that their husband wouldn’t have blamed it on them if he didn’t want to go somewhere.
One opinion was that the man should have told his mother he was sorry he would miss the event and let his mother feel however she felt. The person suggested offering coffee and cake at home instead of going out for dinner.
Some netizens were confused by the post, wondering why the man’s wife factored into his mother’s birthday as he didn’t say they were both treating his mother to a birthday dinner. They asked whether or not his wife didn’t want him to go anywhere while she was pregnant.
One more person said the man was wrong for inadvertently making his wife take the blame for the situation. The person clarified that they didn’t think the mother’s fiancée taking her to the restaurant was enabling but supportive.
The person also said that the man and his wife had the option of going to the restaurant and not ordering seafood, as they had often gone to seafood restaurants despite not eating seafood and had never struggled to find something on the menu that they wanted to eat.
The person ended their comment by saying that their judgment of the entire situation would be different if the man’s wife had a deadly allergy to seafood. The man received many other supportive comments, telling him he was right for standing up for his wife and his unborn child despite his mother’s adverse reaction.
