A mom-to-be went on Reddit, begging for advice on how to handle her husband who is furious that his triplets will all be girls.
Years after their first baby boy was stillborn, the soon-to-be father was hoping the confetti cannon would shoot some blue but when “all three shot out pink” the man became unhinged and fired at his wife, whom he said “killed his first” son.
Later spitting on his pregnant wife for carrying all girls, the man admits he isn’t “interested in daughters” and refuses to have a “close relationship” with any of them.
About one month ago, a 27-year-old woman shared on Reddit a shocking situation with her husband, 29, whom she’s been with five years.
The original poster (OP) describes her relationship with her husband of three years as “perfect” and “so happy.” “It felt like our entire life was perfect. Church on Sunday, loving husband, beautiful home, all of it,” she writes.
Only a few months after they married, the woman learned she was pregnant, and the couple were thrilled to start their family together.
“My husband was especially happy after finding out our baby was a boy as he’d always told me he wanted at least one son.” Unfortunately, the little boy was stillborn, and his parents were left devastated over his loss.
“It broke me. I fell into a depression and even at one point considered taking my life, but my husband was there for me during all of it and we got through the grief. Our marriage felt stronger than ever, and life started slowly feeling beautiful again, even if it no longer felt perfect.”
Leaning on each other for support, the couple moved forward and, in the middle of 2023, the OP said she found out she was pregnant with triplets, which is perfect for the pair who planned on having two to three children.
“My husband and I were over the moon, and he was the most doting and loving husband,” she said, adding with three on the way, they would not need to “try for any more children after this.”
In the fall, the growing family had a combined baby shower and gender reveal party for family and friends who are thrilled for the couple.
“It was like a dream come true and I was so excited for the gender reveal. I don’t care what gender [our babies are, I just wanted] healthy little babies, but my husband was clearly excited for potentially three sons.”
Bubbling over with excitement, the woman, her brother and her husband prepared to shoot three canons, filled with either pink or blue confetti, revealing the genders of the triplets.
“All three shot out pink confetti. I was so excited and so was my brother, but my husband screamed at the top of his lungs and hit the table in front of us, hitting it so hard that it actually broke.”
Broken hearts
Unfortunately breaking the table isn’t the worst thing her husband did.
“He screamed at me that I was supposed to give him at least one son because I killed his first one,” the author writes, further explaining that her husband faulting her for their son’s death was heartbreaking. “That’s when I burst into tears. I had been so broken up about our son’s stillbirth and a part of me had felt it was my fault.”
Her brother stepped in and was then targeted by her husband, who shoved him away.
“So my brother instead pulled me inside where I cried in the living room while my husband’s mother tried to calm him down. I could hear him screaming outside about how three daughters is too many, how he doesn’t want four kids but he also wants a son.”
Spitting hatred
Since the gender reveal, the woman says that her relationship with her husband has not improved. Instead, they’ve been sleeping in separate bedrooms and when there is any interaction, “he’s clearly upset and mad and tries to argue with me.”
She shares, “I tried to talk to him about it and asked about how he’ll be with our three daughters, but he spat at me and told me he will provide them shelter and food, but he isn’t interested in daughters and doesn’t plan to have a close relationship with them. That sealed the deal that I want to divorce him, and I cried myself to sleep last night.”
The mom-to-be says she doesn’t work and, financially dependent on her husband, she doesn’t know how she’ll raise three children or how she’ll find a job that will support her journey as a single mother.
“I don’t want my daughters to grow up in an unloving household where their parents constantly argue and their father doesn’t love them,” She adds.
Seeking advice from Redditors, she asks “I’m torn on what to do because I worry divorce will be too brash of a decision…What should I do?”
Many users deliver warnings that she will be the next target of his rage.
One Redditor shares, “it’s been studied that hitting things around a person is a way of saying this could be you. And with time… it will be.”
Referencing the shocking blame when he accused the woman of killing their son, the majority of netizens pleaded with the OP to leave.
“He blamed you for a stillborn baby and has spat on you!! You can’t stay with this guy!” the comment continues, “He meant everything he said because he still isn’t talking to you. Think about it. He spat on you like you are a piece of trash over something you have no control of…You cannot stay with him. You have to know that.”
Offering some sympathy, a third user writes, “I’m so sorry about your son – please know it wasn’t your fault. Your husband it’s truly vile to say what he did and that alone is grounds to end your marriage.”
A fourth shares, “It’s not as simple as him wanting a son, it’s him blaming you for the stillborn child and outright telling you he doesn’t want to be a good father to those kids.”
Meanwhile, other cybernauts remind the OP that it’s the sperm that determines a baby’s gender.
“It’s the sperm that passes the chromosome to establish sex, so he is the reason they are girls,” writes one. “…completely his fault. The sex is determined the father’s sperm.”
While there may be some hesitation on how she’ll support herself and three kids, the woman refuses to expose her baby girls to a hateful father: “The moment my husband said I killed our son I felt as though I lost all love I had for him in an instant, and I don’t want my daughters to be in that kind of household.”
The husband’s aggression is quite worrisome, and that he faulted the mom for their stillborn son is completely out of line.
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