The teacher asked a little boy:
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TEACHER: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
TEACHER: Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.
TOMMY: Okay. (He returned a minute later) Yes, I saw the sky.
TEACHER: Did you see God?
TOMMY: No.
TEACHER: That’s my point. We can’t see God because he isn’t there. He doesn’t exist.
A little girl spoke up and wanted to ask the boy some questions. The teacher agreed and the little girl asked the boy:
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the tree outside?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the grass outside?
TOMMY: Yesssssssss (getting tired of the questions by this time).
LITTLE GIRL: Did you see the sky?
TOMMY: Yessssssssss.
LITTLE GIRL: Tommy, do you see the teacher?
TOMMY: Yes.
LITTLE GIRL: Do you see her brain?
TOMMY: No.
LITTLE GIRL: Then, according to what we were taught in the school today…she must not have one!!
Here are some funny one-liner jokes for you — short, punchy, and easy to drop anywhere:
- I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… she hugged me.
- My wallet is like an onion — opening it makes me cry.
- I asked the librarian if the library had any books on paranoia. She whispered, “They’re right behind you.”
- I’m reading a book on anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- I’m great at multitasking — I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.
- I don’t trust stairs — they’re always up to something.
- My boss told me to have a good day… so I went home.
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- I told my computer I needed a break — now it won’t stop sending me KitKat ads.
- I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- I put my root beer in a square glass. Now it’s just beer.
- I’m on a seafood diet — I see food, and I eat it.
- The future, the present, and the past walked into a bar. It was tense.
- I told my phone I needed space, and now we’re no longer talking.
- I tried to catch fog yesterday. Mist.
- I would tell you a construction joke, but I’m still working on it.
- My doctor told me I’m going deaf — that news was hard to hea