A husband and wife were sitting at a pub, both completely drunk.
The husband looked lovingly at his wife and slurred, “Honey… have I ever told you that you’re the most beautiful woman in this entire bar?”
The wife giggled and replied, “Aww… that’s so sweet! Have I ever told you that you’re the sexiest man in this pub?”
The husband puffed out his chest proudly.
“Really?”
“Absolutely,” she said. “In fact, every time I look at you, I get weak in the knees.”
The husband smiled. “That’s love, baby.”
The wife shook her head.
“No… that’s because you’re sitting on my side of the booth and your chair is crushing my legs.”
A few minutes later, the husband raised his glass.
“To us! Twenty years of marriage and still crazy about each other!”
The wife raised hers too.
“To us!”
They clinked glasses.
Then the husband whispered, “You know, if I could do it all over again, I’d still marry you.”
The wife stared at him, touched.
“Really?”
“Of course.”
She smiled dreamily.
Then he added, “Because after this much whiskey, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t remember the first time either.”
The bartender laughed so hard he nearly dropped a bottle.
The wife pointed at her husband and declared,
“Ladies and gentlemen, that’s my husband—the only man who can turn a romantic toast into a survival strategy!” 
