My wife, Rachel, and I had two children: a three-year-old son and an eight-month-old daughter named Mia.
After Mia was born, Rachel changed.
She became distant with the baby and spent almost all her time with our son. Whenever I asked why, she would say, “Everything was easier when we only had one child. I never wanted another baby.”
Those words scared me.
I loved both of our children, and I couldn’t understand how she could talk about our daughter like she was a mistake.
Eventually, I started wondering whether Rachel wanted me to choose between our marriage and keeping Mia.
Then one night, after another argument, Rachel suddenly broke down.
She admitted she had been feeling detached, angry, exhausted, and frightened since the birth. She sometimes looked at Mia and felt nothing—and then hated herself for it.
One afternoon, I walked into the nursery and found her rocking Mia to sleep, tears running down her face.
“I finally feel like her mom,” she whispered.
What frightened me most at first sounded like rejection.
But sometimes behavior that looks cruel from the outside is a sign that someone is struggling far more deeply than they know how to explain.